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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Wednesday (Usually Wordless)

Our daughter turned three last month.  So I did the Pinterest-y thing and started a yearly survey.  Here's this year's:

How old are you?  Eight, and four and thlee.
What do you like to do with your family? Listen. (HA!  Yeah, right.)
Favorite Color? Purple! And Pink Tinkerbell!
Favorite Toy? Makeup! (her fake makeup which she does play with a lot but also happened to be holding) And my ponies.
Favorite Fruit? FISH! (Me: fish is not a fruit. Her: Mommy. I love my fish. Me:…okayyyy….)
Favorite BERRIES? Raspberries
Favorite thing to watch? Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and Tinkerbell
Favorite thing to eat for lunch? Bananas and raspberries wif sprinkles
Favorite thing to wear:?  Tinkerbell dress (Her pajamas) and Hello Kitty rainbow dress.
Favorite Game? Tinkerbell game! (sensing a theme?) The rainbow Game! (Peggle 2)
Favorite snack? bunny cookies
Favorite Animal? Piggies (we just went to see some) Also, Kitties.  And A BUNNY!
Favorite Song? Jesus song (Jesus Loves Me)
Favorite Book? New Katerina (Angelina Ballerina and Henry)
Best Friend? Nati
What's your favorite holiday?  God's birthday! 
Favorite Thing To Do Outside? go to the park
Favorite Drink? chocolate milk (ovaltine)
What Do You Like To Take To Bed With You At Night? Bunny! (Also, pink blanket and totoro light)
Favorite Thing To Eat For Breakfast? cereal (Cheerios) this is a lie. She really likes yogurt and fruit and will just throw Cheerios at the cat trying to get them to eat it.
What Do You Want For Dinner On Your Birthday? ice cream !
What Do You Want to be when you grow up? bigger. and race da cars.
What makes you happy?  Bunny
What makes you sad?  Getting owies.

Monday, April 28, 2014

May or May Not Monday

Wherein we own up to our mistakes in a non-judgy space.  Feel free to join in!

I may or may not have functioned on about a third the amount of sleep I really truly need the past three weeks.  My anxiety is surfacing again and with it, depression and insomnia.  If I can't get myself to sleep by 11:45, or if for some reason I wake up after that (hello heartburn, I'm looking at you) then there's almost no chance of me falling asleep by 4 am.  Which makes raising a strong-willed three year old with limitless energy its own special hell.

I may or may not spend these quiet sleepless hours googling all that I can on pregnancy after stroke, reading drama novels, watching BBC period shows (NOT Downton Abbey) and generally doing things which deter sleep and make me more miserable.  Intelligents, I haz it.

I may or may not have gotten a bike for my birthday two weeks ago and have ridden it precisely twice.  It's hard to get bike riding time in when you have a little one who wants to keep up with you but is unwilling/unable to ride a tricycle or balance bike.  And I may or may not be slightly opposed to cruising through our neighborhood with her trailing after me screaming "Wait for me, Mama!"

Some of this stress may or may not be from the church women's retreat coming up this weekend.  I am not good at a) social situations b) interacting with other women c) not being able to find a safe space for alone time every day.  All of these three things will be combined for three days this weekend and while I'm thrilled to be spending some time with a few people, I am more than a tad apprehensive about spending time with others.  If you're wondering which group you fall in, I assure you, it's the first.

I may or may not have spent an inordinate amount of time (and tape) on making a fort for my daughter out of the plethora of Thirty-One shipment boxes scattered around our house.  So far, it is a two room fort, which she can pull her pillow, 5x6 ft blanket, several stuffed animals and snacks into in order to watch Frozen on the iPad.  It is an enormous hit and I'm stupid proud of it. 

Be sure to check out Kate's May or May not Monday on her blog, and if you decide to join in - be sure to share with us!

Monday, April 7, 2014

May or May Not Monday

I may or may not have not blogged at all last week.  Ok, obviously not.  It was a crazy week - cleaning for my in-laws coming, Lu's birthday, J's work was insane with things not working right and left.  I'm pooped! 

We may or may not have gone completely overboard on the three year old's birthday celebration.  Dinner with family at Red Lobster, then a princess party on Saturday and a viewing with her friends of the brand new Tinkerbell movie, and a trip to Walla Walla yesterday for brunch and shopping.  She's now convinced everyday is her birthday and it may take a while to wear off.

I may or may not have finally gotten around to planting my seeds for this spring/summer/fall herbs.  I think I was supposed to start them indoors in probably February, but April works too, right?  Just nod and smile for me.  At least we had fun this morning in the dirt.

I may or may not have a single Thirty-One party scheduled for this month which is So SO frustrating for me.  I hate feeling like I could do better but not knowing how to fix it.  Especially when I hop online and see other consultants around the country having fabulous Aprils.

I may or may not be using a church fundraiser tonight as an excuse to go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner because I'm too worn out from the weekend to cook.  Or think about cooking.  Or make a menu in general. 

I may or may not see a nap in my future today.

Read Kate's May or Not Monday at Alone with the Heavens, Nature and God too!  And comment below if you decide to do your own!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Thursday Thoughts - Sending out some Love

Remember yesterday how I posted that awesome picture about some "free shit"? 

Here's your announcement.

See that pile of knitted objects?  They're all things without a home.  I have more than enough scarves, hats, wraps, etc than I will ever need and I'm beginning to suspect my family members of becoming slightly suspicious at my enthusiasm for gifting them another scarf in place of whatever was on their wishlist.  And the majority of them are from patterns published with the caveat you cannot sell them for profit, thus eliminating them from a potential item for the Etsy shop that I always think about starting but never do.

So I'm passing on the love.  The knitted love.  Each week, at some point, I'll try to remember to post a picture of some knitted item that needs a new home.  The first person to make a donation to a charity and claim it, will get it.  Just message me - on FB, leave a comment, text me, or email me and we'll exchange the necessary info and I'll do my best to get it in the post for you.  I'm not going to pick a charity for you to donate to (although I'm partial to World Vision at the moment), or an amount, and I'll take your word for it that you've donated. 

First up:

A "wingspan" scarf.  It's approximately 48" long, and Noro wool, which means hand wash and dry flat please.  Noro is a brand if you're not a yarnie.  You could use it as a fun scarf, or a garland in your house, either way it's bright and pretty...although not quite as neon-y bright as in this picture (I didn't edit this at all).  And unused in this house.  Give it a home?
I need a home!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Wordless Wednesday...with one swear.

I know this is supposed to be wordless, but I've been working on a big decision the past week or so and I think I may be ready to announce it tomorrow.  It's not life-changing, just little change, but here's a hint: (excuse the profanity)

Monday, March 17, 2014

May or May Not Monday

I may or may not be wearing a flowered dress with pink and black plaid pajama pants because it's too cold for said sleeveless dress without fleece pants, but said dress is the only item in my closet clean that's got green on it.  My daughter is staunchly refusing to wear green, as it is clearly not pink or leopard print.  Happy St Patricks Day.

I may or may not have eaten so much crappy food on our mini vacation the first week of March that all I want is a big helping of broccoli.  Ice cream sounds repugnant, cookies sound awful, and I took one bite of my caramel brownie last night before handing it over to my husband.

I may or may not be fighting a ridiculous urge to re-decorate our entire house.  Again.  *shakes fist at Pinterest*  And I have an Ikea trip coming up.  This does not bode well.

I may or may not have tried to air dry laundry this morning out back and had to go out three separate times to pick up the drying rack which had blown over.  I am putting off cleaning out our dryer vents because I may or may not be afraid of the creepy crawlies living under our house where the vent ducts are.

I may or may not have broken down and bought four pairs of fingernail clippers at the grocery store this morning because I cannot find any pairs at home.  I know we have several.  They're just missing and I'm tired of searching for them.

Be sure to join in the conversation with your own May or May Not Monday and own up to your shortcomings.  Confession is good for the soul and there are no judgey faces here!  And check out Kate's May or May Not Monday while you're at it!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Follow Me Friday - Dinnertime

New month - new Follow Me Friday!  I missed last Friday because we were out of town.  But I polled my friends and it's been determined that this month's goal is to eat every dinner that takes place at home around the dinner table.

I don't know why this is so hard for me.  Ok, well I do.  I'm lazy.  And I'd rather sit in front of the tv, curled up on the couch than take the extra time to set the table.  Plus, the cat litter boxes are in the same room.  That's not very appealing.  But, we put up a wall of sorts between the table and the cat boxes, so at least we can't see them and the table is protected from the litter dust for the most part.

The first two weeks of this were actually fairly easy.  We ate out a few times at the beginning of the month and then we were out of town for five days.  So it's really just been two days then a long break, then this week. 

I've noticed that dinner takes a lot less time for DH and I to eat and a lot longer for our toddler.  She's not distracted by whatever is on the screen, so she's not automatically eating.  She's grown much MUCH pickier about what she'll eat and is distracted every few seconds by something else.  The computer screen saver came on!  The cat walked by!  A bird flew past the sliding glass back door! 

All of this adds up to more frustration for me.  I appreciate that it gets us away from the television, but to be honest, this sort of sucks with a child at this age.  And our dining room is awkwardly set up so I feel somewhat claustrophobic with the dvd book cases, the tea/coffee cart, the desk, the catbox area, and the dining room table with its six mismatched chairs in there. 

I'll give it the rest of the month, then we'll see if it's a habit I'll keep or re-visit in another few months with an older child.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Follow Me Friday - the Smartphone (Conclusion)

Here we are, the end of my first Follow Me Friday month.  Tomorrow I have freedom to once again use my smartphone without restraint.

First, I'm going to delete a whole lot of Twitter accounts from my feed.  Maybe even Twitter itself.

Then, I'm going to check Instagram.  And, to be honest, probably post a bunch of photos I've been hoarding all month.

I'll probably play a few of my games?  But I've found myself downloading more games for Lucy to play this month and I like letting her play for a few minutes at a time more than I like having room for games of my own on my phone.

All in all, I think this was a good experience.  Also - I put off dealing with the Facebook app updates for an entire four weeks!

Ideas on what my next Follow Me Friday focus should be?

Monday, February 24, 2014

May or May Not Monday

I may or may not have started working through my entire Pinterest desserts board the past few weeks to weed out the bad ones (hah!).  Which has included cake batter Rice Krispy treats which may or may not have all been eaten in one gaming session over the weekend with our friends.

I may or may not be serving the exact same menu this week as we did last week.  Finances are tight, I'm burned out on finding new menu ideas, and going gluten-free sounds exhausting at the moment.

I may or may not have gone bra-less most of the weekend b/c my PMS is so bad it has my ahem...chestal area aching.  And this may or may not have included church where I was called up on stage.  And I spent a very uncomfortable seven or eight minutes hoping no one noticed.

I may or may not have finally gotten around to emptying one of the three laundry baskets full of clean laundry that has been sitting there for a month.  We've been working our wardrobe around the items living in those baskets.

We may or may not finally be on the road to potty training.  Still no accidents at home in the past week, so hallelujah praise the Lord.  Now we just have to work on being out of the house without a diaper on the 2 year old.

I may or may not have spent entirely too much time playing Lego Harry Potter this past weekend because I want to try and finish the games on our 360 now that we have a One.  This has no relevance to the place we call real life and isn't constructive at all.  But I still did it.

Join the conversation and share your May or May not Monday links or confessions in the comments.  And be sure to check out Kate's at Alone with Nature, the Heavens, and God. 

Friday, February 21, 2014

Follow me Friday - The Smartphone pt 2

Yes, yes, I was supposed to update you on this last week.  Oh, and the week before.  But life is busy no matter how much extra time you have from giving up Tiny Death Star.

This has been much harder than I anticipated.  I literally had to delete the Facebook app from my phone in order to keep from opening out of habit.  I compromised by accessing it through the web browser when I needed to access messages that held addresses or other pertinent information I needed. 

I have not missed Twitter one whit.  I never realized how much pressure I put on myself to keep up with it.  I've felt the twinge to update now and again, even actually doing so once.  But, It's probably something I could easily live without with the exception of not being able to read Beck's tweets. 

The hardest thing by far has been not having my Instagram account.  I miss seeing the pictures of my nephew.  I miss documenting things like my daughter climbing a tree for the first time.  And I gave in and Instagrammed her singing the ABC song with my husband one afternoon. 

I've been better with the games.  I do access one of mine that requires daily interaction one time a day - right before bed.  But even that has sort of lost its appeal and I may give it up altogether. 

This has been a pretty fruitful experiment thus far and it did push me to interact with the kid more.  I'm looking forward to getting my Instagram back, but I'll be okay with not inundating myself with most of the other apps once March 1st rolls around. 

Any suggestions for next month's challenge?

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Thursday Thoughts - What Makes Your Heart Beat?

1.  Nature - like it says in the video.  It reminds me of God - his power, his creativity, his attention to detail and interest in everything.  His faithfulness.  The smell of the rain or the beat of the sun.  The brush of the breeze or the sound of the ocean.  The peace of the star-filled night or the scent of freshly dug earth.  A constant reminder and encouragement.

2.  Music - often said what you can use to say what's in your heart when you have no words.  I love most types of music (the exceptions may be butt rock and 80's music).  Full of emotion and able to influence subtly.  It can change a mood.  It can lift a spirit.  It can help you run faster or slow down and relax.

3.  Family - which includes people not related to me by blood or law.  The family of my friends who challenge, accept, love, lift up, laugh, cry, live alongside me.  My parents who made me who I am and are encouraging who I'm becoming.  My husband who is part of my foundation, without whom I'd be lost.  And my daughter, who is a light in my life, a constant teacher, and brings laughter everyday.

Monday, February 17, 2014

May or May Not Monday

May or May Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure.  So go on...own up.  I may have...

I may or may not have been feeling slightly guilty all week because when my husband had the cold I am just now getting over, I made him do things like clean and go outside the house and leave the couch.  I did nothing but moan, stay on the couch or in bed, and make everyone wait on me hand and foot.

I may or may not have tried to save money by buying all but two vital ingredients for homemade cream of mushroom soup mix and then realized buying those two ingredients would be more than I felt like spending at the moment.  So I bought two cans of cream of mushroom soup for dinner recipes last week.

I may or may not be ready to throw away half of my daughter's toys that we continue to trip on (a common mama complaint, I'm sure).  She still plays with most of them, I'm just ready for them to stop spilling out of boxes, rolling under the couches, and ending up under my feet.

I may or may not have pushed a little too hard this weekend with potty training.  We've had no accidents at home for over a week, but when we went to the library, of course pants were peed.  And I may or may not have gotten a little snippy with the daughter who wanted to jump pantsless, underwearless, out of the car and into the puddles in the library parking lot. 

I may or may not have put off ordering a refill on my anti-depressants for too long so that I've been out since Friday.  I may be feeling a little better without being on them.  But I'm still going to refill them tomorrow although I may or may not have thrown the empty bottle away.

Be sure to check out Kate's May or May Not Monday on her blog: Alone with the Heavens, Nature, and God.  And if you participate, be sure to share the link in the comments!

Monday, February 10, 2014

May or May Not Monday 2/10/14

I may or may not have baked a double recipe of Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies for Stitch n'Bitch last week.  And then opted not to go because it started snowing.  We still have leftover cookies despite having had them out for playgroup on Friday, taken them to an all day gaming session on Saturday, and we've been eating them ever since. I am now heartily sick of bacon.

I may or may not have been sleeping alone in our bed because my husband has a cold and is paranoid about waking me up with his snoring.  He's been on our extra wide, extra long, extra comfy couch in the family room.  Unfortunately, this only makes me stay up later reading because I'm having trouble falling asleep. 

I may or may not have completely lost my temper with our 2 year old after five straight days of having a sick husband at home while trying to potty train and deal with the worst whinyness to ever exit our toddler's mouth thus far.  I made her cry.  Which made me cry.

I may or may not be thrilled that we have four inches of snow because it's the first substantial snow this year.  Even though it may mean MOPS is cancelled tomorrow.  Even though our housing development's streets are a complete nightmare.  I still like it.

I may or may not have gotten miserably behind on the dishes.  We have approximately two loads sitting in the sink and another in the dishwasher waiting to be unloaded.  But I looooooaaaathe unloading the dishwasher.  I know it only takes a few minutes.  And if you say that to me in a perky voice, I may or may not slug you.

I also may or may not be in denial about getting my husband's cold.  Bleh.

Don't forget to check out Kate's May or May Not Monday at Alone with the Heavens, Nature and God.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Thursday Thoughts - What are you recovering from?

If you know me in real life at all, you know that I"m a big fan and supporter of Glennon Melton, the force of nature behind Momastery.  She often says (and I'm citing this as the inspiration for this post) that everyone is recovering from something, most people just don't realize and/or acknowledge it.

So what are you recovering from?

I could put lots of things here.  I'm recovering from a stroke - still.  Sorting through the ways it's changed my life and re-defined "normal".  I tire more often.  It means my doctors are exceedingly hesitant to let me have another kid the biological route.  If I let my energy reserves run too low, my side weakens.  I can't get dehydrated or my stroke symptoms can relapse.  I was diagnosed with depression, and then an anxiety problem.  I found out I'm genetically predisposed to not respond to any drug which will affect my platelet function, including aspirin.  A lot of things changed drastically in my life that day in May.

One thing the stroke brought to light for me that has become apparent the past few months was that I was already in recovery for having a heart condition.  Sure, physically, I'm relatively fine.  But I'm still recovering from not having the sort of life I planned on having.

This is something I think everyone is forced to recover from.  Or at least acknowledge.  All of us had an idea of what being a grown-up was going to be like, and I'm sure as hell that nobody (and I mean not one single person) got precisely what they imagined.  Even if you pictured yourself as a football player winning the Superbowl and you just won the Superbowl, you didn't realize how much work it'd be, how much it would hurt physically, and the things you'd have to sacrifice in order to make time for practice.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a lot of things.  I could never nail down a career idea - heck, I had three majors in college and only settled on the last one because if I didn't pick something I'd be graduating late.  I knew I wanted to be a mom.  And I knew I wanted more than one child.

This is what I'm fighting hardest to recover from lately.  I'll be fine one day and the next it's as if all the air has been removed from my body and I can't remember how to breathe.  I want another child.  I want another child.  I love my daughter and am so thankful for her that it cannot be expressed.  But at the same time, I'll look at her and feel this shockingly immense pain when I realize she may not know the joy of having a sibling.  And it's a problem I don't know how to fix.  I don't know how to recover from this.  I don't know how to adjust my worldview to not include another child in our family.  Or another two children.

Yes, I know there's adoption.  But it's a road we've tried several times, to only end in heartbreak and I don't know if I have enough energy to be recovering from yet another thing.   So I'm being honest that some days I really struggle with feeling trapped and shattered and grieving this thing that isn't even tangible.  It's why I can't hold babies without crying yet and why I might not smile as big as I could when my friends announce they're pregnant.  It's why I sit up until early hours researching pregnancy after a stroke, and alternatives to blood thinner medications.  But I can't talk about it except without using my voice.  Because this recovery hurts so much more than any recovery I've ever attempted before. 

Monday, February 3, 2014

May or May Not Monday - 2/3/14

May or May Not Monday: Where you can divulge the secrets of life's mishaps without feeling like a failure.  So go on...own up.  I may have...

I may or may not have started a trend.  One other parents warn you about.  I may or may not have let our daughter sleep in our bed for part of the night or early morning the past two days.  Once because she got up way too early and it was the only way to keep her quiet.  And last night because she ate way too much at the Superbowl party yesterday and her tummy was upset.  I love letting her sleep in our bed...but only if she sleeps.  And that is most definitely not guaranteed.  She does sleep more soundly in our bed, but we don't.  I have good memories of the safe cocoon of my parents' bed when I wasn't feeling well or was sad or scared.  So I'd like her to have those too.  Unfortunately, last night, it meant relegating DH to the guest bedroom...which I most definitely did not like.

I may or may not have allowed my family have pizza for dinner THREE times last week and therefore we had it for lunch on several days too - including today.  There's a full pizza box of breadsticks and various slices in my fridge - just one of the many aspects of my house that is in desperate need of a good cleaning out, purging, and scrub down. 

I may or may not have worn pajama bottoms most of last week because I've been on a cleaning/re-arranging kick and it's easier to move furniture and bend over fifty thousand times to pick up toys off the floor in sweatpants than it is in jeans or a skirt.  This does mean that I managed to move the computer out of our bedroom without losing my mind or furniture in the process.

I may or may not have started hard core potty training our two year old last Wednesday and Thursday, then let it go until this morning.  So of course, she peed on her beanbag chair this morning.  I may or may not know how to clean pee out of a beanbag chair, so I may or may not have spot cleaned it and hoped for the best.

I may or may not have moved my ukelele out onto my desk, cleaned it, and put it in a prominent place in hopes that it'd motivate me to play it more often.  It's in the exact same spot, untouched since last Tuesday.

Want to join this conversation?  Link your own May or May Not Monday in the comments over at Alone With the Heavens, Nature and God

Friday, January 31, 2014

Follow Me Friday - The Smart Phone

Do you have a smartphone?  I do.  And to be honest, I didn't really fight getting one.  I like the idea of internet at my fingertips, the ability to do away with a planner (I still carry one, oddly enough), games to while away the minutes as we drive somewhere, and being attached to Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Facebook, Jelly, Pinterest, etc.

They've become somewhat of a hot button issue in my family...but just around the holidays.  My mom once scolded my husband for being on his phone during Christmas celebrations and it's now grown into the sort of semi-joke that you're never really certain how seriously to take it.  Stay off your phone on the holidays.  Unless you're calling/texting your family.  Or taking pictures.  Or Vining something.  Or Instagramming it.  For Thanksgiving, I put out a basket with a sign on it saying "Be with the ones you're with" for everyone to put their phone in during dinner.  An idea I shamelessly stole from Pinterest.  And I'm beginning to notice that the times I feel that flicker of annoyance with my husband is when I'm talking and he's checking his Facebook on his phone.  Or our daughter wants his attention and he's scrolling through Twitter.  Or we're at a friend's house and he's re-stocking the floors in his Tiny Death Star.  I'm guilty of the same thing.

So I'm giving up my smartphone for February.  I've wondered aloud several times in January how we got along without the internet at our beck and call back in the day.  I'm probably the last year of educated people who got along writing research papers without Wikipedia, Google, you name it.  Now it seems I can't even go through an entire TV show without looking up an actor's filmography on IMDB.  So, starting Saturday, I'm giving up Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Jelly, and the internet on my phone.  No games, no web searches.  My phone is for calls and texts only. And the alarm clock.  I'd give up texting, but then I wouldn't have a social life.  If I need to Google something or check Facebook, I can get up and go to the computer or I can wait until I get home.  Time to disconnect a little bit. 

I'd rather make eye contact with my daughter a little more often.  I'd rather take pictures I'm going to print than pictures I'm going to post.  And to be honest, as much as I like the celebrities I follow on Twitter, I don't need to know what they had for lunch or what book they just finished reading.

I'll do my best to keep you updated on Fridays. 

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday Thoughts

I'm going to try and post prompts weekly, in case you need some inspiration for your own blog.  Or if you just like answering questions.  Let's get started.

Prompt:  How do you recharge?

I read.  I sleep.  I knit.  I write.  I make lists.  I listen to music.  Basically, if it's quiet and has a sort of rhythm to it, I can recharge.

Reading recharges me because I can escape into another character's life.  Whether or not that life is pleasant has nothing to do with it.  I can have adventures that I would never get to have in the real world.  I can enjoy the politics of a steampunk kingdom at war with giant insects.  I can solve a mystery using cupcakes and cats.  I can control the weather or grow up in a New York slum.  Basically every advertisement for reading a book ever is why reading recharges me.

I sleep.  This seems a little obvious, but there it is.  I love naps.  I'll outright tell my daughter "you need to take a nap so Mama can take a nap too."  Naps are more recharging to me than sleeping through the night, mostly because they feel more decadent.  Spending some of my precious time, especially if it's sans daughter, asleep...not cleaning or organizing, working on my business, or folding laundry.

Knitting has saved my life.  Long before I was diagnosed with an anxiety problem, it kept me from going insane.  Even if I wasn't actually knitting, but just squishing yarn between my fingers would help relieve tension.  With knitting, I can feel that sitting on the couch for an episode of television is productive because we always need more handmade socks.  I feel accomplished when something is done.  I feel the whole world is open to me when I'm ready to choose another project.  And I feel a little closer to heaven when I walk into a yarn store.

I write because I enjoy making connections with people about important things more than anything else in the entire world.  I like making people's lives better in any way.  I like helping people get to understand themselves and other people.  I like getting my own incredibly loud thoughts out of my head and somewhere they at least appear ordered.  This is the same reason I make lists.

Finally, music.  I have it on a lot in our house.  Usually Spotify or the iTunes radio of our Apple TV.  And usually classical or jazz, sometimes indie folk.  It soothes me.  The sound gives the illusion there are other adults around for me to interact with.  My daughter loves dancing to it and I love dancing with her.

Prompt inspiration from this article: How We Mend

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

May or May Not Monday

I may or may not have had ice cream for dinner three of the past seven days.  My stomach has been particularly vicious to me lately and honestly, even chicken noodle soup didn't sound appealing.  So, ice cream it was.

I may or may not have read seven books in the past week, mostly from the same series, mostly ignoring my family because I'm fighting to get comfortable lately.  To get quiet.  To get balanced.  And retreating into a fictional world for hours on end makes that a little easier.

I may or may not have had a mason jar full of spoiled homemade hair gel sitting on my bathroom counter for nearly an entire month.  And I may or may not see it every time I go in there, make a mental note to toss it out and make some new gel and then forget as soon as I turn around.  No, I haven't been using it.

I may or may not have gotten into the habit of buying my toddler hot chocolate every time I go through the Dutch Bros drive-thru.  And I'm not sure how to break this habit without the equivalent of throwing my sanity into a wood-chipper.

I may or may not have covered up the cat-puke on our bedroom floor with a towel and ignored it for several days because the thought of cleaning it up makes me gag and the thought of asking my husband to do it for me makes me feel lazy and guilty.

I may or may not have thought about rearranging the furniture in our house several times in the past week with no idea how to do it in a fashion that a) remains liveable and usable, b) doesn't require purchasing something, and/or c) doesn't relegate yet another piece of furniture to our already bursting garage...which I may or may not have resolved to clean out during January and haven't started yet.

Also, I may or may not have procrastinated until Tuesday to do my May or May Not Monday...

Join the conversation (next Monday, I suppose, if you'd like!) and read other people's May or May Not Mondays.  Find other links at